It’s the beginning of September and we’re back with two very different high school rom-coms to drink about. One is about teens partying and hooking up before they start their college freshman year, and the other is about nerds not partying or hooking up so they can get into the Ivy League of their dreams. Both star the adorably wholesome Jacob Latimore, and both are worth a watch — but only if you have your favorite summer drink handy at arm’s length. Maybe two.
The Candy Jar
There’s a lot of negative things I could say about this movie; it’s boring, it’s slow, it’s predictable, and it doesn’t use its three biggest stars to their fullest potential. But I won’t, because at its core I think it’s actually trying to be a wholesome movie. Of all the Netflix “rom-com” movies, this might be the least comedic of the bunch. In The Candy Jar, Jacob Latimore plays Bennett Russell, who is a sweet, rich dude who just wants to get into Yale. Sami Gayle plays Lona Skinner, a smart, working-class girl who just wants to get into Harvard. They both love debate, their mothers, and skipping dances so they can see French art-house movies; and yet they don’t recognize how perfect they are for each other?
The Candy Jar (Netflix)
It’s hard to tell what the beef actually is between these two characters; maybe it’s their competitive nature or maybe they’re holding the grudge their mothers held. What isn’t hard to tell is the fact that, eventually, they will get together.
This movie is mostly about debate culture. Personally, I don’t know much about debating, but I’m pretty sure that spoken word poetry is not debate.
I guess the real question to ask before you start this drinking game is: “Is anyone not ready?”
The Candy Jar Drinking Game Rules:
Mention of an absent parent.
“Is anyone not ready?”
Bennett is rich
Lona is poor
Bennett and Lona say something at the same time
They eat candy or cookies
Bennett doodles
A kiss
Someone mentions Yale or Harvard
Debate montage
Study montage
The Last Summer
(Note to reader: this is to be read in the voice of SNL‘s Stefon.)
Tens of dozens of students are on vacation from high school this summer and they’re trying to figure out how to pay for a liberal arts school, which driveways need asphalt, and who in God’s name ordered the large non-fat, no-foam double latte? In Netflix’s The Last Summer, Archie Andrews flies home from Riverdale to convince his eighth-grade girlfriend (who has set clear boundaries) to date him by the end of the summer.
This movie has everything: post BBQ sex, sneakers on the bed, Mrs. Robinson, and a teenage Chicago wolfcub. What is a teenage Chicago wolfcub you ask? It’s when you take a Teen Wolf, trade his werewolf abilities for baseball skills, and give him a job as the Chicago Cubs’ newest rookie.
This movie also features Chicago’s hottest bar: Traders Tavern. Located in the back of Ferris Bueller’s dream journal, this bar has everything: no ID checks, buckets of beers, grey flannel suits, and free bloodbath chicken wings (which is something Janet gives you when there’s a bloodbath in the market that day).
The Last Summer (Netflix)
The plot of The Last Summer is a bit all over the place, with at least 11 main characters, half a dozen storylines, and four big parties, there is a lot to keep track of. But if you’re willing to sit through 109 minutes of mostly-white kids unsuccessfully attempting to have a hot girl summer, here’s a drinking game to keep you company.
The Last Summer Drinking Game Rules:
Voiceover
Party time!
Teen Wolf is a country boy
Sassy one-liner from a kid
Netflix mention
Bladeland mention
Phoebe is editing her film
Griffin is “making music”
Interlocking fingers (drink twice if they actually do it)
Whites putting their shoes on furniture (beds, couches, chairs, etc.)
That’s it for this edition of the Netflix Rom-Com Survival Kit. Did you survive the drinking games? Hit me up on Twitter and let me know what you thought!
The Candy Jar and The Last Summer are available now to stream on Netflix.
