Basic Superlatives: “Rise Up”

This episode of Freeform’s Shadowhunters featured Simon making the full sexy transition into a brooding and tortured vamp, Parabatai going awry, and some divisiveness over the meaning of the word “elite.” Check out some of our bite-size bests from episode 1×09.

 

1: Biggest WTF:

Alec, what are you doing?

“You’re not serious.” We actually agree with Jace here. Once the initial shock wore off from that preposterous wedding proposal last episode, we were even more stunned to see Alec really doubling down on the whole idea. Is this really happening?! The only one who was able to make any sense of this fiasco was Jace (all part and parcel of being one half of a Parabatai). “Ever since Alec found out our parents were in the Circle, he’s been messed up. He can’t see the big picture.” Feeling betrayed and let down by his parents, Alec stepped up to the plate to salvage the Lightwood name in the most efficient way he saw possible. And being that his parents were already in the process of finding him a wife, we can understand him wanting to regain some control over his future. But proposing to Lydia was definitely the last thing we expected Alec to do after the “Do what’s in your heart” talk he had with Magnus last episode!

 

2: Closest Call:

Simon goes for the jugular.

Simon’s touching reunion with his mother was cut short when he made a move to chomp down on her neck (#JustVampireThings). We were thankful that Clary decided to interrupt and nix this Close Call. But we weren’t entirely feeling her use of yet another underdeveloped tale in what was fast becoming a web of lies. Identity theft? Come on now, Clary. Ever heard of mother’s intuition? This mama bear knew there was something bigger going on.

 

3: Extreme Vampire Make-Over:

Simon fulfills the mandatory sexy vampire requirement.

Apparently, becoming a vampire comes with a sexed-up make-over that corrects any eyesight issues you may have had. We get it. In a post-Twilight world, vampires need to be sexy. We aren’t complaining. But we are going to miss the nerdy hotness the glasses lent to Simon’s overall appeal. Glasses can be sexy, too, you know.

 

4: Least Elite Task Force:

“Elite” is clearly a subjective term.

Unfortunately, it had to be Alec personally taking Meliorn to the Silent Brothers for questioning in the City of Bones. Also unfortunate was the “elite Shadowhunter guard unit” sent to accompany him. It included Raj. How elite could it really have been? And while we know Isabelle, Clary, Jace, and their assembled Downworlder team made for a pretty badass assortment of rebels, these guys were still tragically easy to take down.

 

5: Most Heartbreaking:

These paraba-cries.

So much for Jace Wayland being Switzerland! Jace looked Alec right in the eye and told him he would get Clary to hand over the Cup…and then proceeded to immediately call her and tell her to draw a rune so she couldn’t be tracked. Not only that, but he also got Magnus to help him and Isabelle sneak around behind Alec’s back. There were plenty of reasons to disagree with Alec this episode, but seeing these two soul brothers at odds was painful. And it all culminated in this Most Heartbreaking of scenes, where we watched them physically duke out their differences. Hearing Jace scream, “I don’t wanna be alive if we’re on different sides, Alec!” was brutal, and Alec just looked so lost. We were crying paraba-tears right along with them!